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The Brown Noser

Nation Puzzled By Happy Man

Published Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

Noting that he’s had the same job since he was 23 and doesn’t seem all that special or interesting, Americans everywhere admitted they were completely puzzled by self-proclaimed “happy man” Aaron Colb.

“He doesn’t make that much money. I mean, his boss is the same age as him. And his wife seems okay. She’s a teacher or something. But he’s so happy. What’s his deal?” said New Jersey resident Bailey Redfern, echoing the feelings of Americans across the nation who could not fathom what could possibly be making Colb happy.

“I’ve got a great family. I like my job and my church. I’m just happy with how things are right now. I really hit the jackpot,” commented Colb, causing Americans everywhere to admit they were drawing a complete blank on how Colb managed to be so happy.

“He doesn’t even have a new car," said Idaho resident Ben Carney. “I’d understand if he had a new car.”

At press time, Colb had further puzzled the nation by stating that all he wanted to do tonight was hang out with his wife and watch TV or something.

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