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The Brown Noser

Nation’s High School Boyfriends Announce Plan To Shimmy Up Tree And Sneak Into Your Bedroom Real Quiet So Your Dad Doesn’t Hear

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

In a joint press conference on Tuesday, the nation’s high school boyfriends announced a plan to shimmy up that tree in your backyard tonight and sneak into your bedroom real quiet so your dad doesn’t hear.

The plan is foolproof, according to the nation’s boyfriends. They’ll reportedly bike over to your place around 11pm and toss a pebble at your window. By the time you walk over to investigate, the nation’s boyfriends will already be 15 feet off the ground, clinging to a branch that will threaten to snap.

But it won’t, report the nation’s boyfriends.

They went on to say that you’ll have to be super quiet when you open the window, since your dad sleeps in the next room and he’s reportedly got ears like a bat. Make sure to push the stereo under the window so the nation’s boyfriends can step onto it without landing too loudly on the floor, which your dad still hasn’t bought you that rug for. That’s vintage Mr. Montgomery, according to the nation’s boyfriends.

The nation’s boyfriends then unveiled the next step of their plan, which includes, like, whatever. Haha, you know, they report.

But the nation’s boyfriends would totally be cool with just studying if you want. For real. They know you have that big bio test tomorrow and they’d be happy to help you with your flashcards.

The nation’s high school boyfriends concluded by announcing they would accidentally leave their sweatshirt in your room so you could wear it to school the next day.

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