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Eyewitnesses reported Tuesday that Marcus Tannanbaum was forced to return yet again to his back yard to shoo away neighbors Scott and Laura Daveson, who had been sticking their fingers in the holes of the bird feeder to eat the seeds stored there.
“Goddammit!” Tannanbaum was heard yelling. ”They’re at it again!” Tannanbaum reported that he had originally installed the feeder so as to glimpse rare migratory birds attracted by the food. “Downy woodpeckers, red-capped cardinals, the eastern mockingjay; these are the birds I want to see." Tannanbaum explained. "Not Scott and Laura. They live right next door to me.”
When asked what steps he had taken to deter his neighbors from eating at the feeder, Tannanbaum responded with exacerbation. “I’ve tried everything: putting the feeder high, putting the feeder low, attaching it to a pole far away from trees. Nothing works. Laura and Scott are very smart. They always find a way to get at it.” Tannanbaum went on to state that the strains of winter had made it extra important that the birds get the needed calories. “They have long migrations to make” said Tannanbaum. “But Scott and Laura live in that house next door all winter. They don’t have to go anywhere.”
Tannanbaum swore that some days he felt so fed up that he considered buying a gun, but knew that was inhumane. “In an ideal world everyone would be fed, including my neighbors.” Tannanbaum siged, “They just scare away the birds is all.”
