According to a recent press release, the new CoverClear Concealer from Revlon is “chemically proven to erase signs of aging like blemishes, wrinkles, and all of these bodies oh my God there are so many.” The directions on the back of the product’s packaging instruct the user to "simply apply a small drop of Revlon CoverClear and watch as it elegantly masks unflattering sunspots and the severed heads of all the victims what have I done there is so much blood.” The new line of concealer from Revlon hits stores this month, with a new series of television spots to air during primetime programming. “Revlon CoverClear keeps me young,” says a spokesperson in a commercial for the new product. “And I’m not going back to jail, do you hear me? No way in Hell. I’ll die before that happens. Who told you where the bodies were? Was it Harvey? Give me names! Names, Goddammit!”

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