Friday, November 16, 2018
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The Brown Noser

New Study Finds Dogs Understand Complex Array Of Human Emotions, Eat Own Shit

Published Friday, October 26th, 2018

A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Sociobiology has concluded that dogs are capable of recognizing, understanding, and responding to a wide variety of human emotions once thought to be solely recognizable by other people, and that they also like to eat their own shit. “Dogs really are our best friends,” reports Professor Jane Wilcock, the lead author on the study. “After eons of coevolution, canines have developed the impressive ability to perceive emotions in people’s bodily expressions far beyond the level of their non-domesticated wolf counterparts. Additionally, they occasionally consume their own feces.” The study also concluded that dogs are highly skilled at providing emotional support to the terminally ill, tearing up the goddamn couch cushions.

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