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WASHINGTON—Struggling to jumpstart an economy mired in recession, President Obama promised Tuesday to assume a second presidency until America can get back on its feet. “What’s best for the nation right now is that I work the night in Honduras in order to put food on the table,” said Obama in a televised address. Every day, after getting off at the White House at 5 p.m., Obama will catch a flight to Tegucigalpa, changing suits in the Chevron bathroom a quarter-mile from the airport. “Strengthening the American economy remains my utmost priority,” said Obama. “So I hope that you will understand if Daddy is very tired when he gets home and does not want to play games.” At press time, Obama was seen frantically searching through the Second-Time-Around Bookstore for an English-Spanish dictionary.
