Partly Cloudy, 64°
NEUR 1020: “Principles of Neurobiology” would not be a bad choice for one of your spring semester classes, explained Melvin Polevsky ’12 during a brief conversation Tuesday afternoon, throughout which he was imagining doing all sorts of unspeakable things to you and your mouth.
“The professor’s pretty good, and there’s no homework besides studying for exams,” said Polevsky, as the image of massaging you in a tank of cold spaghetti started to impede his vision.
“Plus he puts all the slides up online, so it’s easy to study,” added Polevsky, imagining drawing you into quarters and rubbing himself with one of your severed legs.
Polevsky took the class during his sophomore year at the same time as a friend of yours, who he has repeatedly pictured waist-deep in a barrel of tears rubbing her eyes with salt and telling him she’s ‘delicious’ while they were testing each other with flashcards.
“All in all, it’s a good class,” said Polvesky, conjuring up visions of you and your best friends tying him down and drenching him in molten gold while whipping him with julienned carrot slivers, “You should check out its Critical Review.”
“Oh, and you want to come over for dinner?” he added. “It’s spaghetti night.”
