Partly Cloudy, 64°
Area Stoner Greg Neffin reportedly has begun making a habit of rising bright and early at the crack of noon.
“I’ve been making my bed too,” said Neffin as he absentmindedly stared at a bird. “Well not really making, mostly I’ll just move my pillow off the floor. I just started noticing when I wake up first thing in the afternoon, I just get way more done. I’ve also been pre-planning my outfits the night before, and then wearing them to bed. It’s really made a huge difference.”
Friends of Neffin have said they’re proud to see him transition from a stoner to more of a generally lazy guy.
“I’ve definitely been more on time for my appointments that happen after 1pm,” boasted Neffin. “I do breakfast and lunch together now too, I call it ‘Lunchfast.’ I’m basically an entirely new person, except for my hygiene and obsession with Adult Swim.”
At press time, Neffin was crestfallen to find out Jo’s isn’t actually open all day.
