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The Brown Noser

POINT: Lord Swanth, The Countess Vittoria Has Gone Mad! You Must Imprison Her At Once by The Vizier Aaron / COUNTERPOINT: Lord Swanth, The Vizier Aaron Lost The Fortune Of Dundleboose Playing Dice With The Hobgoblin Prince by the Countess Vittoria

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021

POINT: Lord Swanth, The Countess Vittoria Has Gone Mad! You Must Imprison Her At Once by The Vizier Aaron

Lord Swanth, my liege, I’ve terrible news! The Countess Vittoria has gone mad! She’s spewing devilish nonsense and causing panic, you must imprison her at once! And all the stuff she’s saying, it’s soooo so crazy, it might drive you mad just to hear it! It’s imperative that you stay far away from her until we get her locked in the dungeon.

It’s quite a shame that she’s just gone irreversibly mad and we won’t ever be able to talk to her again, because I know how well you two got on. I know it’s nice to have a friend on the court, and Countess Vittoria certainly was that, quite a friend to have around, yes my liege but now we must put those things aside and imprison her on account of the madness. And I’m afraid to inform you, in my capacity as Vizier of course, that her banishment is non-negotiable.

Please, my lord, there’s not much time. Vittoria could drive any one of us mad just by coming near us, worst of all you! You mustn’t wait my liege, you must mobilize the garrison to apprehend her, we must protect all of Dundleboose from her wicked insanity! Vittoria must be contained and ignored at all costs!

COUNTERPOINT: Lord Swanth , The Vizier Aaron Lost The Fortune Of Dundleboose Playing Dice With The Hobgoblin Prince by The Countess Vittoria

Lord Swanth, my liege, I have bad news. The Vizier Aaron lost all of Dundleboose’s riches last night when he played dice with the Hobgoblin Prince. Your excellency, sir, it was after you had retired to slumber, the court started a rousing game of dice. First we played Dundleboosean style and Aaron was winning handily. He bluffed his way into playing Midnight Sun rules and before he knew it he’d bet the entire kingdom’s fortune and the Hobgoblin Prince won the round.

The Vizier Aaron did inform me he’d be trying any number of hare-brained schemes to win back the fortune before you found out and had him executed. And he mentioned he’d say I was insane, but I wanted to set the record straight so as not to be put to death, or branded a witch, my liege. I regret that it was entirely the Vizier Aaron’s fault, but it truly was my Lord.

I’d recommend sending him to the dungeon for sure, Lord Swanth.

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