Smithborough, Kentucky, a pathetic mid-sized city, is famous for a stupid little sandwich. “Welcome to Smithborough, home of the world-famous ‘Tasty Turkey,’” begins a brochure for the sad city, which could only manage to muster up a turkey sandwich as its selling point. “Go downtown for a show or take a day trip out to Lincoln Ravine for a hike! While in town, make sure to give the ‘Tasty Turkey’ sandwich a try. Every restaurant will have one; this is Smithborough we’re talking about! Ask two locals where they make the best ‘Tasty Turkey’ and you’ll get three opinions!” At press time, neighboring Murphysville, a city that somehow manages to be even more pathetic, claims to be the sandwich’s original inventor.

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