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The Brown Noser

Pedestrian Has Right Of Way And Is Also Dead

Published Friday, March 14th, 2025

Sources indicate that a local pedestrian has the right of way and is also dead.

“This is an unmarked crosswalk!” said the late Thomas Parker immediately before he was struck by a Buick Bolero moving at 47 miles per hour. “Cars should yield to me!”

“The law does dictate that the pedestrian always has the right of way, even when the crosswalk is implicit rather than clearly marked,” said David Williams, a local traffic lawyer. “However, because he is dead, Mr. Parker legally cannot receive the benefits of any potential lawsuit.”

At press time, a local goose had the right of way but was also in an airplane’s engine.