After receiving criticism from members of the University, Perkins’ rats announce they aren’t thrilled to be living so far from campus either.
“Who in their right mind would willingly choose to live here?” said one Perkins rat, skittering across the sidewalk every six seconds. “I would have much preferred to live in Greg. Even Wriston Quad would have been better than this for god sake—anywhere but here.”
“We’re so far from everything,” said the Perkins rat, scuttling a little too closely past the foot of a student. “I’m literally forced to eat Jo’s fries every night. I can’t even go hang out with my friends at night because they live all the way across campus—it literally sucks.”
“Tell me why it takes me at least twenty minutes to get anywhere,” continued the Perkins rat, watching a student do a full U-turn to avoid interacting with it. “That’s ridiculous. And it’s not like I can ride a bike to get to places either—I have to crawl literally everywhere.”
At press time, the Wriston skunks announce living by the Ratty is actually pretty chill.

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