Partly Cloudy, 64°
Be reasonable. It would be nice to get a free drink but definitely not from that guy. I mean, look at him. He’s wearing a fedora and, oh my God, he just unbuttoned another button. It’s getting pretty late and you should probably just go.
POINT: You Shouldn't Let That Slurring Italian Man in This Jazz Bar Buy You a Drink
By Lydia Hilltop
What if he puts some weird Italian thing in your drink? Or just any weird thing? He does seem kind of exotic and, yes, Italian is a beautiful language. But he’s leaning on you for support which means he’s really drunk or at least creepy. He can’t even speak. “Durnk” is definitely not how you say “drink” with an Italian accent.
Right now he seems worldly and sophisticated, but if he knew anything about the world, why would he be hanging out in a jazz bar in downtown Providence? No, this is not your chance to have the time of your life. The time would definitely be mediocre at best. Look, you know he’s just going to do that thing Europeans like to do where they tell you how much better life in Europe is.
Seriously, it’s not a good idea.
COUNTERPOINT: Is Fine! I Tell You About Italy!
By Fabrizio Armani
Come, I buy you a drink and we just relax here together. Italy is beautiful country and you are beautiful girl. Bella donna. That means beautiful woman in my language. You are bella donna, you see?
We can sit here, listen to the nice music. Really good music. Hey, look at that funny guy with the horn. How you call? Oh, a saxophone. See, you teach me new things. I am from Italy. I want to learn more about American culture. You can teach me!
Where are you going? You are fun girl with beautiful hair. We dance and have a good time together. Just relax! You Americans don’t know how to have a good time, always rushing around. Let me tell you, in Italy, we have a great time. We don’t worry. In Italy, everyone always laughing and dancing till five in the morning. You stay and then you come to Italy with me, yes? We ride on my Vespa. Is in Italy, not here.
No, no, don’t go. Look, is only 1:30. We can go somewhere else. You can show me around American city! In Italy, girls love when I buy drinks for them. See? We are learning about different cultures already.
