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The Brown Noser

President Paxson Blasts Music, Slides Down Empty Halls In Socks During Seventh Week Of University Shutdown

Published Friday, April 24th, 2020

Pressing play on a Dixie Chicks CD and gleefully removing her loafers, President Christina Paxson took to blasting music and sliding across University Hall’s hardwood floors in socks during the seventh week of Brown’s shutdown.

“This is invigorating!” Paxson shouted over the music as she jetted down hardwood floors in her stockings. “No one is here to tell me what to do! WOOOOOOOO!”

Although Brown’s administration is currently working from home, President Paxson has been frequenting campus when she needs to let loose.

“Being here alone is a whole different experience," Paxson explained. "I could tap dance on top of my desk. I could let my hair down and scream at the top of my lungs. I could climb to the roof and ring the big bell as much as I want!”

“Yesterday I snuck into Dean Zia’s office and tried on his graduation regalia just for kicks,” the President confessed with a wry smile. “He’ll never know! Ha! Next week I think I’ll stop into Lyman and try on all the Shakespeare dresses. And then I’ll watch Netflix in the Absolute Quiet Room with no headphones! What a thought!”

At press time, Paxson was crouched behind the counter at Jo’s, giddily stuffing her mouth with fries.

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