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The Brown Noser

Presiding Kid Who Gets A Lot Of Nosebleeds Called In To Consult When Other Kid Gets Nosebleed

Published Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

After local third grader Benny Nelson got a nosebleed during recess, bystanders quickly called over the resident kid who gets nosebleeds a lot, Jeffrey Sutter.

“When another kid gets a nosebleed, people usually think of me because I get a nosebleed like once a week, so I know what you’re supposed to do,” said Sutter, who recommended that Nelson put tissues up his nose, but not all the way up, and get Ms. Brandt.

After dispelling Lindsey’s theory that Nelson got punched but didn’t notice it, Sutter calmly informed the surrounding crowd of third graders that Nelson would be fine. “Don’t freak out, Ben. I get nosebleeds all the time. My mom said I have a dry nose. Your nose is probably dry,” explained Sutter, who then gave Nelson some of the tissues he always keeps with him.

At press time, Ms. Brandt had given Sutter permission to walk Nelson to the nurse’s office because he definitely knew where it was.

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