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Sources report that math professor Clarence Field just wrapped up the most brutal problem set imaginable with a silly little word problem featuring himself. The assignment consisted of nine painful multivariable calculus problems, including one that mathematicians have deemed insolvable, as well as a quirky little autobiographical word problem.
“The last question’s about me and my pet duck Joanie, who just got her driver’s license, going on a road trip to the St. Louis Arch in a world where gravity is presumed to be complexly time-variant and the earth exists as a hollow sphere which is permeable to hypothetical space winds,” said Field, giggling to himself about the complicated spatial reasoning and vicious quadruple
integral hidden in the silly story. “It’s just so goofy.”
“I do expect students to spend a mini- mum of 15 hours suffering through this problem set,” Field continued, gleefully typing “NO CALCULATORS OR COLLABORATION ALLOWED :) HAVE FUN!!!” in a bold font at the top of the assignment. “But just think how lucky they are to spend days on this absolutely ridiculous problem about me and my pet duck, who I actually made up to be extra wacky.”
At press time, Field was crafting an extended 14-part murder mystery-themed question for the final to tank everyone’s grades once and for all.
