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The Brown Noser

Prominent Antivaxxer Actually Just Three Flu Viruses in a Trench Coat

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

A new report revealed that Laura Douglas, an outspoken opponent of vaccinations, is actually three flu viruses in a trench coat disguised as a person.

“Vaccinations can only cause harm,” said Douglas, who is in fact a trio of flu viruses trying to convince concerned parents that they are an adult woman. “You should never, ever vaccinate your children. Oh, and don’t cover your mouth when you sneeze either.”

Though Douglas has risen to prominence as an expert on the dangers of vaccines, it became clear that she is really just a stack of flu viruses working to spread their kind when the bottom flu virus lost its balance and the stack toppled over.

Since their disguise was uncovered, each of the three flu viruses has reportedly donned a lab coat and a stethoscope to pose as a panel of doctors with concerns about vaccines.

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