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The Brown Noser

Providence Man Excited For Peaceful Day Of Barreling Down Thayer Street In Batmobile

Published Friday, April 22nd, 2022

After a long, stressful week of work, Providence man Nathan Rossi is excited for a peaceful day spent loudly barreling down Thayer Street in a Batmobile.

“Sometimes it’s easy to forget about yourself, and it’s important to take the time to just relax,” said Rossi as he revved up the deafening engine of his personal Batmobile. “It’s the simple things in life that matter. When we’re old, we’re not going to remember what we did at work one week, but we will remember who we hugged, who we made smile, and who we made cover their ears as we zoomed down Thayer twenty miles over the speed limit in our Batmobiles.”

Onlookers reported that Rossi looked completely zen as he barreled down Thayer Street, offering them gentle waves from his roofless Batmobile as if he were riding a little lawnmower.

“I hope that when people hear the roar of my Batmobile’s engine at 10 in the morning, it’ll relax them as much as it does for me,” continued Rossi, fully reclined as he sped through a red light by the bookstore. “People around here can be so stressed and caught up in their lives. But if they take the time, like me, to look at the blue sky, listen to the birds chirp, and admire my insane Batmobile with flame details as I drive inches away from pedestrians at highway speeds, maybe they’ll come to appreciate our short lives a bit more."

Rossi has reported that he is looking forward to a simple night of burning out his tires while drag racing his Batmobile by India Point Park.

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