Sources report that Providence Mayor Brett Smiley has engaged in heated negotiations with Senator Arnold Growly to champion a bill aimed at fostering equitable happiness in Frown Town.

“It’s about setting a standard of happiness that every citizen not only deserves but should expect from their community,” explained Mayor Smiley in a recent City Council briefing as he distributed gold star stickers to all the attendees for being such involved citizens. “I wholeheartedly believe that Universal Basic Joy can no longer remain a dream.”

“This systematic approach could pave the way for a happier, more fulfilled populace, and I think that’s downright disgraceful,” argued Senator Growly while confiscating candy from every baby at the briefing. “If this uppity mayor thinks he can transform Frown Town into a beacon of emotional prosperity with no pushback, he’s got another thing coming!”

At press time, Attorney General Ambivalent was seen stepping in to mediate as negotiations between Mayor Smiley and Senator Growly intensified.

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