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The Brown Noser

Providence Place Mall Exactly What Roger Williams Dreamed Of

Published Friday, September 22nd, 2023

Centuries after the founding of Rhode Island, it has become clear that Providence Place Mall perfectly fulfills Roger Williams’ dreams for the colony.
“We seeketh to designate such a Place where all people mayest enjoy full liberty of religion,” wrote Roger Williams in a missive to the new colony, circa 1636, which was a premonition of the glorious mall that would eventually stand beside the Woonasquatucket River. “Henceforth, we mayest even see such grande triumphs as the largest carpeted mall in the region.”
“Thusly, Rhode Island shalt be a place for secular government and for prosperity of a free people,” continued the writings of Williams, whose statue presides over the Rhode Island State House, and more importantly, the mall right beside it. “And perchance even a movie theater which stands directly opposite a Dave and Buster’s, above a vast and fertile food court.”
At press time, the existence of Jo’s spicy with turned out to be the greatest goal of the Brown University founders.

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