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The Brown Noser

Report: Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony Still Considered Greatest Classical Composition Among Experts Who Only Listen To First Few Notes Of Things

Published Friday, December 5th, 2014

According to a report released by the Music Teachers National Association, Ludwig van Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is considered the best classical song ever written by authorities who only listen to the first few notes of songs. “Despite the extraordinary number of compositions with cool opening chords, it appears that there is widespread agreement in the music community that Beethoven chose the best ones to open the Fifth Symphony,” said lead researcher Andy Simmons, adding that no one surveyed could remember what comes next, but it didn’t matter because the first part was so good. “Experts have determined that the ‘dun dun dun duh’ is pure genius, and it really shows how Beethoven was ahead of his time in starting songs. No other artist of the time composed five measures as brilliant as those.” The study concluded that the ending is probably great if anyone ever gets around to listening to it.

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