Saturday, April 4, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Report: Jennifer Would

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Roommates of Jennifer Tilley ‘22 yesterday confirmed that Jennifer absolutely would. “After a thorough analysis of the data collected on Jennifer, not only can we confirm that Jennifer would, but our models show that that is such a Jennifer move,” reported Lacy Hargrove ‘22 on the research paper she co-authored entitled “Jennifer: Did You Hear About What She Did To Brandon?” “We know it may sound extreme, but we believe a scoffed declaration of ‘classic Jennifer’ would not be unjustified.” At press time, the research team is inquiring further into Jennifer in an effort to prove that she is literally the worst.

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