A recent study on family dynamics found that there’s nothing quite like a lake, a canoe, and a writhing fish to end years of resentment between a father and a son. “The most effective way to halt a decade’s worth of emotional turmoil and passive-aggression is no doubt to put both father and son on a boat in the middle of a lake, hand ‘em each a big metal rod and a spool of twine, and let the healing happen,” said family therapist Jean Bundt. “It’s best if the conditions are very specific; I’m talkin’ a hot day with no breeze, mosquitoes swarming, fish not quite biting. That’s a recipe for healthy relationships between feuding male family members. Regardless of whether the resentment stems from absence on the father’s side or distance on the son’s, a still lake, a creaky canoe, and a fish or two are sure to inspire a heartwarming breakthrough.” At press time, there’s nothing like parents, teachers, and conferences to launch years of family tension.

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