Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to local sources, there is nothing quite as satisfying for a big hungry guy as a heaping bowl of smaller, less hungry guys.
“After a long day of busting my big tush at the ol’ 9 to 5, a guy like me gets famished!” said large man Greg Pinkle as he fetched a large bowl of punier, terrified men from the back of his very sizable pantry. “I need something that’ll satisfy my cravings, and these tasty fellas do just the trick!”
“See, I’m the kinda guy that needs nutrients,” continued Pinkle while scooping into the bowl to retrieve a cluster of satiated but mortified little men. “And I’m getting all my daily vitamins with just a couple servings of these guys. Add in the nice crunchy texture, and you’ve got a snack that’ll really get you through the afternoon blues!”
“I’ve tried other options: popcorn, bubble gum, small trees…” added Pinkle, happily plopping handfuls of screaming men into the perilous vacuum of his gaping maw. “But this hits the spot like nothing else!”
At press time, sources added that nothing satisfies a big hungry gal quite like turmeric.
