After further naturalistic observation, scientists have published a report detailing how the parakeet is definitely the queer one in the bird friend group. “We have been observing this bird friend group for almost eight months now, and we can confidently conclude that the parakeet is a fruitcake,” the report disclosed, explaining how the flamboyant bird was caught chirping to his friends with a limp wrist. “Following protocol, we checked off one by one the common mannerisms seen within the gay bird community. The parakeet passed with flying colors, if you know what I mean. If only he could talk to us, we would be sure that the parakeet would call himself the Samantha of the friend group.” At press time, the report gathered that the dove is definitely the mom of the bird friend group.

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