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A report released by researchers at Boston University found that, if you really wanted to, you could be on a roller coaster right now instead of reading this newspaper.
According to the research, which looked closely at your options at any given time, there’s currently nothing stopping you from driving to the nearest amusement park or county fair and getting on a really fun roller coaster. Researchers noted that if you had done things differently could even be on a roller coaster right now.
“Our research shows that you are having up to 20 times less fun than you would be having if you were on a roller coaster. We saw those numbers triple when really big roller coasters with loops were factored in,” said lead researcher Janet Altemose. “Our research found that you could be feeling so alive right now if you were on a roller coaster. We found that you could be rushing down a steep incline with your arms up in the air and the wind in your hair, or even screaming with pure glee as you round a bend.”
“These findings suggest that time is slipping away even now, and every second you spend reading this is another second you’re not spending laughing your head off on a roller coaster,” Altemose added. “In fact, every decision you make that isn’t dropping everything to have a carefree day of fun decreases the amount of time you could be spending on one of life’s great excitements.”
The report also confirmed that you could be water-skiing, hang-gliding, or eating a big bowl of ice cream, but you already decided not to do those things. Additionally, the study found that with very little effort you could be in the car and on your way to any number of theme parks.
“This research suggests that you could drop everything and go ride a roller coaster at any time. We also found that there’s nothing holding you back but yourself and your buttoned-up ideas about how you should be spending your time now that you’ve gotten older,” said Altemose, confirming that you are just a 30 minute drive away from one of the most fun experiences of your life.
“Wait, we could be on a roller coaster right now,” Altemose told reporters.
