Sources report that area restaurant Mike’s offers customers three different culinary options, including Thai, Greek, and Mexican, that certainly aren’t gross. “I mainly come here for the pad thai,” says long time customer Corina Stern, chewing on a piece of tofu as a poster of Greece hung in the background. “I tried the chile en nogada once and the chef must have been sick or something because it was not good. How could a place with such wonderful baklava have bad chile?” At press time, a customer was overheard asking a waiter if he could just have spaghetti and meatballs.

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