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Members of the Department of Reverse Psychology have asked President Ruth Simmons to drastically reduce the department’s funding for the 2011-12 school year on the grounds that it is a stupid and unnecessary institution that the school should never have funded in the first place.
“It’s high time the administration bites the bullet and gets rid of the cash sinkhole that is the Department of Reverse Psychology,” said Professor of Reverse Psychology Susan Weiss.
Since its formation in 1992 in response to a series of student protests against the unethical field of reverse psychology, the department has come under constant fire from its own faculty, who have criticized research practices including reporting only statistically insignificant effects and charging a fee for participating in experiments.
“Reverse psychology is a dying field,” said Department Chair Alan Ipstrick. “Students today are too cowardly to take up Reverse Psychology as a serious career. You know what? Forget it. It’s too difficult. Let’s just call it quits.”
“Please don’t quote me on that,” he added.
President Simmons has so far refused to give in to the department’s demands and has said that she may even decide to increase its funding for a third consecutive year, “if only to prove that annually bullying the school for funding cuts is not a legitimate strategy.”
