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The Brown Noser

Roommate's Smoothie Kick Entering Second And Final Day

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021

Plugging in his NutriBullet for what would prove to be the last time, local roommate Ted Gary commenced the second and final day of his new smoothie kick.

“I’ve really been missing Ivy Room smoothies, so I thought I’d get into making my own smoothies here,” Gary explained, retrieving a four-pound bag of frozen strawberries and blueberries he’d bought yesterday and would soon permanently abandon in the back of the freezer. “I think I’ll make at least one of these per day. Maybe two. I’ll just have to restock ingredients every weekend when we go grocery shopping.”

Gary’s smoothie — which contained a dash of protein powder he would never use for anything ever again — marked the end of a smoothie-making habit that had lasted not one but two days.

“Oh yeah, if we ever have any bananas going bad, just stick them in the freezer for my smoothies,” Gary reportedly told another roommate while stowing away a handful of overripe bananas that would never be lucky enough to see the inside of a blender. “Sorry, I’d offer you a smoothie but I just put everything away. I can definitely make you one tomorrow if you want.”

At press time, the smoothie-encrusted NutriBullet cup settled into its final resting place under a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

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