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The Brown Noser

Russian Nonprofit Helps Young Girls In STEM Learn To Commit Cyberterrorism

Published Friday, April 9th, 2021

A new Moscow-based feminist non-profit is gaining worldwide acclaim for taking bold steps to encourage more girls in STEM to commit acts of cyberterrorism.

“When I got first job at internet troll farm in bunker beneath Siberian tundra, I was disheartened to see I was only woman there,” said chairwoman Galina Petrov in a speech at a St. Petersburg feminist think tank. “It was then that I knew I had to start charity to have more sisters in male-dominated covert industry. My dream is to have woman be first person to hack USA White House and steal nuclear codes. ‘Yaas Tsarina!’ we will say then.”

Petrov’s research has found that only 10% of Russian trolls who hacked America’s 2016 election were women. Her charity got that number up to 30% in 2020. Petrov is hopeful that by 2024, there will be more women than men poisoning American discourse via online disinformation and catalyzing the country’s rot.

“This project aims to make change of sexist perceptions at young age,” continued Petrov to a crowd of oligarchs, angel investors, and female tech journalists. “Why do we say girls must be milkmaids and men can use computer? Let us tell children that girls can hack US treasury and bring down the Dollar just as good as the boys.”

At press time, Petrov’s charity had expanded to encouraging girls across Russia to “lean in” to annex parts of Ukraine all by themselves.

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