The Sciences Library is introducing a new 150 decibel fireworks zone, according to the building’s head librarian.
“We know everybody enjoys studying differently,” said head librarian Raul Jimenez, explaining the new area in the SciLi’s Friedman Study Center where firework use will be permitted. “With this new 150 decibel zone, students will be able to study in an area that’s ten billion times louder — and more colorful — than the loudest decibel zones currently in the SciLi.”
“The SciLi basement already offers a variety of different noise levels for students to choose from,” Jimenez continued, noting that some students prefer a silent work environment in the 0 decibel zone while others enjoy collaborating in the 50 decibel zones. "Now, Brown students have the option of setting off a bunch of fireworks in our 150 decibel zone. The new area isn’t limited to just fireworks, either. We encourage everybody to take advantage by using a jackhammer, revving a chainsaw, or listening to an ambulance siren up close.”
Initial feedback from students has been overwhelmingly positive. “I love the new 150 decibel zone,” said sophomore Mallory Pugh, shouting as she struggled to hear herself talk. “The only way I can study for midterms is by listening to the sound of small explosives detonating. It’s so nice to have a place on campus that accommodates my study habits."
At press time, sources reported that the Rock is planning to add an absolute quieter room so silent that your thoughts can drive you to madness.