A recent report from a team of MIT researchers demonstrated that, if given the chance, scientists would make statistically excellent husbands. The principal investigator will be presenting the findings next month to a panel of single women.
“Cooking, at its core, is the same as mixing chemicals,” the authors theorized, “and scientists are very precise with their movements, even at small scales.”
The experiment had females rate scientists compared to non-scientists on double-blind dates. The females included in the study were recruited from labs across the country in fields ranging from molecular biology to cognitive neuroscience.
The scientists concluded that scientists were more modest, more interesting and overall more suitable spouses than their non-scientist counterparts.
“Controlling for salary, build, health and demographics,” the researchers reported, “scientists came out on top in every regard as better husbands.”
The researchers say they hope to next characterize the degree to which scientists would be good fuck-buddies or, at the very least, massage-buddies, if that’s a thing.