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According to a new study by cosmologists at the University of Chicago, the View Askewniverse, the fictional world in which many of writer-director Kevin Smith’s films take place, is expanding.
“Though we have long suspected the View Askewniverse may be expanding, we have not been able to prove it until now,” said Diane Henwick, head of the team of researchers who made the recent discovery by closely measuring the growth of Kevin Smith’s filmography over the course of the last 20 years.
“Our findings suggest that due to Gen Xers misguided affinity for Smith’s brand of comic-book nerd stoner comedy, as well as the growing mainstream cult status of View Askewniverse films such as ‘Mallrats,’ ‘Dogma,’ and the ‘Clerks’ franchise,” continued Henwick, “there is no doubt that Kevin Smith will continue to make films, thereby expanding the View Askewniverse beyond its current limits and forcing us all, from time to time, to encounter his sad little comedy movies.”
According to Henwick’s study, an expanding View Askewniverse will not directly endanger human lives at least for the present time.
“There is no doomsday event on the immediate horizon,” stressed Henwick. “However, there are several untitled Kevin Smith projects coming down the pipeline, and chances are we can expect them to include View Askewniverse staples such as Jay and Silent Bob, actress Joey Lauren Adams and a plot-line about liking comic books or being from New Jersey or something like that.”
“God help us,” she added.
