Scrappy Brown Daily Herald reporter Ethan Arnold is reportedly backed by nothing but sheer gumption, and also thousands of dollars of alumni donations.

“We’ve been insanely impressed by Ethan’s go-getter attitude in the face of adversity, and sometimes even danger,” said BDH Editor-in-Chief Posy Kransler as Arnold used some of the colossal stash of alumni funds to buy a source coffee. “His smarts and bravery are so impressive.”

“As a student publication, we spend most of our time advocating for ourselves,” Kransler continued, paying for her boba order with the never-ending stream of alumni dollars. “It’s inspiring to see someone as young as Ethan step into the world with nothing but a reporter’s notebook, a pen, and our infinite well of monetary resources.”

At press time, a Brown Political Review artist was backed by nothing except creative passion and all of RISD’s equipment.

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