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The Brown Noser

Scrappy BDH Reporter Backed By Nothing But Courage, Thousands Of Dollars Of Alumni Donations

Published Friday, September 22nd, 2023

Scrappy Brown Daily Herald reporter Ethan Arnold is reportedly backed by nothing but sheer gumption, and also thousands of dollars of alumni donations.

“We’ve been insanely impressed by Ethan’s go-getter attitude in the face of adversity, and sometimes even danger,” said BDH Editor-in-Chief Posy Kransler as Arnold used some of the colossal stash of alumni funds to buy a source coffee. “His smarts and bravery are so impressive.”

“As a student publication, we spend most of our time advocating for ourselves,” Kransler continued, paying for her boba order with the never-ending stream of alumni dollars. “It’s inspiring to see someone as young as Ethan step into the world with nothing but a reporter’s notebook, a pen, and our infinite well of monetary resources.”

At press time, a Brown Political Review artist was backed by nothing except creative passion and all of RISD’s equipment.

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