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The Brown Noser

Seniors Excited For One Last Semester Of Partying, Hanging Out With Friends, And Feeling The Loneliness Of Adulthood Seep Into Every Fiber Of Their Futile Being

Published Friday, February 7th, 2025

In recent news, seniors were excited for one last semester of partying, hanging out with friends, and feeling the loneliness and anxiety of adulthood seep into every last fiber of their futile being.

“I’m super pumped for one last semester with my best friends!” said Ashley Newman ‘25, wondering if she’d ever experience true friendship again or if it’s simply all downhill from this moment onward. “I just love getting to spend quality time with them, whether that’s cooking, going out, or just getting to have a good chat.”

“I really just want to focus on having a good time this final semester,” said Newman, slowly counting down the days until her life would be over forever and she’d be swept into the soul-sucking vortex of adulthood. “I just want to make as many memories as possible before graduation in May.”

“There’s still so much I want to do before leaving,” added Newman, wondering if she would ever truly feel grown-up or if she would always feel like a meandering seventeen-year-old for the rest of her life. “I want to explore more of Providence, pick up some new hobbies, and take some awesome courses.”

At press time, newly admitted students were excited for their first semester of partying, making new friends, and experiencing a sense of pure wholesome joy that seniors will never experience again.