KABUL—After years of careful calibration, U.S. military forces detonated one perfectly aimed bomb in Kabul this morning, establishing a representative government rooted in equal opportunity and personal liberties. By noon the smoke had cleared from the bomb site, revealing a federal government restricted by a series of checks and balances. Inspired by the blast, Afghan militant groups operating outside the Ghazni province flooded into Kabul eager to vote.

U.N. peacekeeping troops stormed the capital following the explosion but withdrew by sundown after confirming that the blast had established an impartial system of judicial review. A U.S. military official reported that the military is now developing a plan to improve Iranian diplomacy with a single well-placed compliment.

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