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The Brown Noser

Stressed Senior Just Gonna Cry While Driving On I-195 W/US-6 N Toward US-44 W

Published Friday, November 1st, 2024

Reports from the off-campus neighborhoods have indicated that senior Madelyn Prent is gonna release her stress by sobbing while driving on I-195 W/US-6 N toward US-44 W.

“Everything has just piled up on my shoulders, and I don’t know what to do,” wept Prent, speeding down Hope Street toward Wickenden. “I have three big job interviews this week! My thesis proposal just got rejected! And it’s my turn to clean out my house’s fridge!”

“Thank God I have my car so I can get away for a bit,” sobbed Prent, driving past the Providence Place Mall and deciding to follow the I-95 N toward Pawtucket. “My world is out of control, and I’m spiraling, but trying to get lost on the highways around Providence always helps a bit.”

“I just feel like I’m running and running but the future is gonna catch up to me before I’m ready for it,” sniffled Prent, taking exit 36A for US-6 E toward I-195/East Providence/Cape Cod on her way back home. “I feel so, so helpless. Am I running toward? Or running from? Maybe I’ll just drive to Boston.”

At press time, a detour route on the way home took Prent dangerously close to Seekonk.

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