Partly Cloudy, 64°
Reports show that Daniel Park ‘25 is eating dinner with his friend group only thirty minutes after he ate lunch to avoid eating alone.
“Look, total props to people who eat alone, there’s nothing wrong with eating alone,” said Park, knowing full well he would rather walk into a bonfire than eat alone during the Sharpe Refectory 6:30PM dinner rush. “But personally, meal times are sometimes the only opportunity I have during the day to see my friends and catch up with them. I really value the time I have to see what they were up to today.”
“No, I never eat that much at dinner, ice cream and fries is really all I need,” continued Park, hoping his friends wouldn’t realize that he had already eaten a full dinner thirty minutes ago. “I do all my eating at breakfast. Dinner is always a pretty small meal for me. It’s not even healthy to eat that late in the day anyways."
At press time, Park’s packages have been piling up in the mail room because he hasn’t had anyone to go to the mail room with.
