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The Brown Noser

Student Goes to Rock to Feel Productive While Scrolling Through Facebook

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

Deciding that it was time to focus on her distractions from work, Samantha Gutierrez reportedly went to the Rock to feel more productive while browsing Facebook. “My time is definitely best spent here,” Gutierrez said, taking a break from the Tasty videos she’d been watching to play a round of Words with Friends. “In my dorm, I feel like I’m just wasting time on Facebook. But when I come to the Rock, I feel like I’m procrastinating on something important.” At press time, Gutierrez reportedly moved to the SciLi basement to hunker down and get through the rest of her News Feed.

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