Partly Cloudy, 64°
Visiting the reliable cast of characters at the OMAC testing center two to three times a week, sophomore Brian Goldblatt is walking into the place like it’s the bar from the long-running NBC sitcom Cheers.
“Brian!” said all of the smiling workers at the testing center in unison as Goldblatt made his entrance into the OMAC. “How’s life with the ol’ girlfriend goin’? She still givin’ you trouble about playin’ frisbee with your buddies on Valentine’s Day?”
Viewing the workers at the OMAC as something like a second family, Goldblatt said he is always excited to enter the COVID testing center and get advice from the friendly faces who work there. He’s even begun a will-they-or-won’t-they relationship with a girl on the same testing schedule as him.
“That sounds rough, buddy, how about you sit back and relax with a refreshing afternoon nose swab,” continued an OMAC worker as he operated a printer. “Here at the OMAC, everybody knows your name, date of birth, and presence of viral load in your mucus.”
At press time, a student walked into the lesser-known Jewelry District testing site like it was the house from short-lived Cheer’s spinoff “The Tortellis.”
