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A groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Architectural Engineering found that if a house is a face, then the windows are its eyes and the door is its mouth.
“I can’t believe it’s been right in front of us this whole time,” science reporter Caroline Freeman said at an international engineering conference. “If houses were to have eyes, they would obviously be right where the windows usually are, on either side of the top of the front of the house. And the door falls right where a mouth would be. And the front stoop is like a chin.”
The study also confirmed that sometimes you can see the face right away, like on regular square houses, but sometimes you have to think about it a little bit more, like on split-level houses or modern-looking houses.
“Houses with curtains look like girl faces because curtains are like eyelashes,” Freeman said, crunching numbers. “And houses with red doors are also girl faces because red is like lipstick.”
At press time, Freeman reported that caves look like a big person yawning.
