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The Brown Noser

Stupid Fish Still Hasn’t Learned From All Its Dead Friends And Family That Worm Attached To Metal Hook Not Real Food

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Sources report that, unfortunately, this stupid fish still hasn’t learned from all of its dead friends and family that the worm attached to a metal hook is not real food.

“Oh my god, look at that gnarly, juicy worm,” exclaimed Mr Sammy Phisher, somehow unaware that the worm was attached to a concerningly sharp metal hook that was 10 times bigger than the worm and could perhaps result in death. “That’s the biggest, fattest worm you might just ever see in your life.”

“The way it’s so perfectly speared by the skewer is absolutely magical. You would be an idiot to pass that up,” continued Phisher, conveniently forgetting the fact that his oldest brother, oldest sister, second oldest brother, second oldest sister, and probably 50 more siblings had died by skewer to the mouth. “It’s probably okay if I take a bite—I’m sure nothing bad can happen.”

At press time, the mouse in the pantry somehow didn’t make the connection that the rat trap on the floor might have been the same type of trap that his father had died in just a week earlier.

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