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The Brown Noser

Sure, The Beach Is Nice And All, But Nothing Compares To The Feeling Of Lunar Regolith Between Your Toes by Buzz Aldrin

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

Look, I like going to the beach just as much as the next guy. It’s definitely relaxing to kick off your sandals and walk along the shore. But nothing — and I mean nothing — can compare to the feeling of kicking off your spacewalking boots and feeling the lunar regolith between your toes.

It’s a feeling you’ll never truly understand unless you get the chance to go to the moon. You might think the feeling of sand between your toes at the beach is similar, but it doesn’t come close to what it feels like to walk barefoot on the gritty, abrasive layer of dust that coats the lunar surface.

And sure, the beach can be a great place to lay back, take off your shirt, and soak up the sun. But do you know an even better place for sunbathing? That’s right, it’s the moon — the only place where you can ditch your spacesuit, lay down in an impact crater, and soak up some direct solar radiation unimpeded by any substantial atmosphere.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: The moon has no ocean, so the beach must be better, right? Where on the moon can you go to cool off or gaze out at the wide-open sea? Well, since the average temperature on the moon at night is -298°F, you never have to go far to cool down. And if you want to see the ocean, just try looking up in the sky to see the entirety of planet earth instead. Yeah, I’d say the moon beats the beach.

But I bet the feeling of Martian dust blowing against your face must feel great. Damn, those rovers have it good up there.

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