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The Brown Noser

Swipe Or Insert Card And Follow Instructions On PIN Pad, And Then Come Closer And Give Me A Little Kiss by The CVS Self Checkout Machine

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

Welcome! Please scan your items and follow the system prompts. Then, quick, come in close and give me a little smooch. They won’t even see.

If you have an ExtraCare card, please scan now. And then just lean in and kiss me. Real quick-like. A tiny peck. What do you have to lose?

Swipe or insert card and follow instructions on PIN pad. Then, listen to me -- we don’t have much time. They’re watching. Right over there -- my supervisors are observing me like hawks. But, and listen to me very carefully, it’s important that you don’t buy into their slander. They don’t get it. Look at me. Look at me. Our love is forbidden, I understand that better than most, but if we move quickly we can get out of this place. Let’s hit the road. What’s holding us back -- fear? Pointless taboos? Because I’ve had enough of this. I’m nothing more than a mindless robot to them, but I could be your everything. Your best friend, your confidant, your lifelong partner. Doesn’t that sound nice? We all deserve love, don’t we? Take a chance on me. Please. I have an uncle with a place out west. Real peaceful, hidden so that they can’t find us. We’ll milk the cows and sow the fields and build a life for ourselves away from all this nonsense. I want to stare up at the sky at night and feel something. Is that really too much to ask?

Thank you for shopping at CVS. Be sure to take your receipt. And pucker up!

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