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The Brown Noser

Talentless Actor Really Just Wants To Talentlessly Direct

Published Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Fresh off the heels of a mediocre supporting performance in Focus Features’ “Can You Hear The River Sing?” last July, Hollywood actor George LeDoux conveyed to reporters his true desire to direct mediocre film.

“I love acting, don’t get me wrong,” LeDoux said, “but what I really want to do is direct a feature film. I just have a lot to say about the medium as a whole.”

“I watched Pulp Fiction twice last night, and I just kept thinking, ‘Man, I could do that,’” he added.

Reviews of “Can You Hear The River Sing?” were tepid at best, with critics pointing out LeDoux’s wooden delivery and uninspired chemistry with the other actors. However, this has not discouraged him from wanting to take to the director’s chair.

“I’ve always wanted to have my voice touch the audience through the screen,” said LeDoux, who was nominated for a Daytime Emmy in 1997. “Man, imagine. I’d be like Ben [Affleck] or even Clint [Eastwood]! Those suckers wouldn’t believe it!” Sources confirm LeDoux has never met notable actors-turned-directors Affleck and Eastwood.

“I see a big difference between participating in film and actually making film, with all the creative power falling to me,” continued LeDoux, whose debut film performance in 2003 was deemed “frustrating” and “underwhelming” by Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers in a two-star review, “It’s truly inspiring and humbling to think of all the art I could fulfill to its greatest potential.”

At press time, LeDoux had just ordered a typewriter online.

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