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This Thursday, according to government officials, terrorists raised the terror alert to the level that indicates that terrorists have seized control of the terror alert system.
“Be advised that the terrorism threat level in the United States has been raised,” said an anonymous spokesperson for the terrorist organization behind the recent infiltration of the National Terrorism Advisory System. “As you can tell from the level that it has been raised to, us terrorists have seized control of the terror alert system. That is what the alert level that we’ve raised it to indicates. We have control of the alerts now. Stay tuned for more alerts of a similar nature."
In response to the raised terror alert and growing public concern over national security, Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson urged calm.
“Though the threat level has been raised, please understand that it is merely meant as an advisory to keep Americans informed and vigilant," said Johnson. “Let me assure you, there’s no real reason to worry until the alert reaches the level indicating that terrorists have stopped playing around with the terror alert system and will now begin a devastating campaign of targeted attacks on U.S. soil.”
“When that alert is issued, then you can go ahead and panic,” he added.
