Local woman Sophia Eagleton reportedly discovered that she is getting old upon realizing she has no idea who the president is anymore. “The last time I seriously followed all that stuff was when I was in college,” said Eagleton, showing off her vintage Bush-Cheney campaign posters. “Jeez, I am becoming my mother. I remember back in the day making fun of her because she was always mistaking Bill Clinton and Al Gore for each other. Now look at me. I see these teenagers listening to major policy speeches on their iPhones and following various government agencies on Twitter. I feel so old.” Upon being told there was to be a new president in a few months, Eagleton just shook her head.

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