Saturday, March 22, 2025
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Thrifted Sweater Smells Of Agatha

Published Friday, March 14th, 2025

Reports indicate that newly thrifted sweater smells of Agatha.

“I really thought I had found a nice, vintage piece,” said thrifter Thom Carwell, hefting his alarmingly cheap haul. “It has those 1950’s stripes, 100% cotton, the whole works. I knew instantly it would go great with my Doc Martens and cuffed jeans. Boy, was I surprised by the smell of Agatha, the local grandma, on its soft fibers!”

“It smells like soft evenings by the fire, wondering when, or honestly, if, my grandkids would be calling,” Thom continued, plucking cat hairs off his new find. “It smells like little porcelain angels and knitting sweaters for my son’s in-laws, who are just in it for the money. When I walk into a room wearing it, people start asking me for butterscotch cookies, offering to help me sit down—real grandma stuff.”

At press time, Agatha smelled like a new Fashion-Nova two-piece set.