Growing less enthusiastic about Brown’s campus culture with every passing minute, prospective student Macy Peters reported that her tour guide was getting a little too excited about that skin book Brown keeps in the John Hay Library.

“I was really hoping to hear more about academics and campus life, but everything always came back to that skin book,” reported Peters, reflecting on her tour guide’s uncanny ability to relate every element of campus back to the skin book. “One mom asked a question about S/NC grading, and all she got in response was that S/NC grading allots students more time to focus on their passions, like exploring campus skin artifacts.”

“The whole tour was ‘skin book this, skin book that,’” Peters continued, increasingly unsure whether she wanted to attend an institution with books bound in human skin, much less one with students who are a little too into the idea of books bound in human skin. “The only thing I learned about the Sciences Library was that it’s one of three Brown libraries that doesn’t have a skin book.”

At press time, Peters reported that the tour guide was getting a little too excited about Brown’s literal mausoleum.

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