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Sources from the White House recently confirmed that President Donald Trump has declared himself law after consuming his latest executive order.
“As our Founding Fathers—George, Thomas, Alexander, Doug—once said, any president that eats his own executive order becomes law of the land,” lied President Trump while using the Bill of Rights to wipe leftover crumbs from his face. “Sleepy Joe never ate his crooked executive orders—probably because he’s not as smart as me.”
“They say that no man is above the law, but I am the law. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, ‘I am the law’ because I am the law,” rambled President Trump, subtly implying that he is the law. “And now that I am the law, we are going to do big things, believe me.”
“For my first decree as the law, I demand someone prepare more laws for me to eat,” added Trump, salivating at the thought of gobbling down another yummy executive order. “The law missed lunch and is getting hungry.”
At press time, congressional Democrats were scrambling to eat all the office paper in the Capitol Building.
